Mountain of debt seems too steep to climb

• Reprints

WOMEN_IN_RED processed by IntelliTune on 23022007 153019 with script DR BOB RGB to CMYK test2

Updated: February 23, 2012 8:05AM

Dear Harriette: I have a pile of bills that grows bigger every month. I don’t have the money to pay them, and I’m so frustrated about what to do. I haven’t opened any of the bills for months. I know that’s the wrong thing to do, but I figure that if I can pay only pennies on a few of them, why bother at all?

What can I do to stop hiding? I have even stopped answering the phone because it’s always a bill collector.

In Hiding, Chicago

Dear In Hiding: Thank you for climbing out of your hole long enough to ask for help. You already know that you cannot hide forever. It’s not good for your psyche, and creditors do not typically go away.

Instead, take on the big task. Go through your mail and sort the bills. Figure out how much money you have that can be used to pay any of the bills. Then call each of your creditors and tell them the truth. Tell them about your employment situation, your debt and how much — if any — you can pay them monthly. Many creditors will work out a payment plan with you, sometimes reducing your debt in exchange for regular low monthly payments. If you have lost your job, some creditors will freeze the interest on your debt and help you pay down the debt for an extended period of time.

Bottom line: You may be surprised at how much your creditors will be willing to help you climb out of your hole. What you need to do is get your information straight and ask.

Dear Harriette: I went home for the holidays after not seeing my family for the entire year. We had a very nice visit, except for me having to listen to a constant barrage of people telling me that I have gained weight and need to do something about it. Yes, I have gained weight. Yes, I have begun to change my eating and I’ve started exercising.

But come on. Every single member of my family jumped on me every day.

On the last day I lost it and chewed a few people out.

I told them that enough is enough. Apparently I must have sounded harsh, because now things are awkward with them.

But I don’t think I was out of order. They overdid it, in my opinion. What can I do to ensure that things are OK?

Plump, Shreveport, La.

Dear Plump: I’m glad to hear that you are trying to improve your health. That’s the most important thing.

It is also important to manage your relationships. You can reach out to key family members and tell them that although you appreciate their concern, they went overboard during the holidays and it made you uncomfortable. You can apologize for being testy with them, but make it clear that you want no more of their commentary.

You can send questions to askharriette at harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick,
1130 Walnut St.,
Kansas City, MO 64106.