Family needs mental health help

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Updated: March 1, 2012 8:06AM

Dear Annie: My mother-in-law, “Mary,” is a demanding, conceited, freeloading, depressed 60-year-old witch. She has made our lives miserable for the five years I’ve been married.

Mary used to work as a nurse, owned her own home and paid her own bills. Shortly after we married, she quit her job, saying she was too depressed, and let her house go. She became an appendage to our sofa for two years. It affected our marriage so much that my husband finally asked her to leave. Not only did she call me every name in the book, but she proceeded to post fliers around town calling me a family wrecker. She then moved in with my parents for another two years. She still tells everyone that we threw her to the wolves and left her for dead.

This woman is convinced that her depression started the year my husband was born. Her parents were extremely wealthy, and even though she left home at age 16, she still thinks the red carpet should be rolled out every time she shows up. She makes plans with friends and expects to borrow our car and our cash.

Mom has doctors and therapists provided to her by the state, but she is getting worse and refuses to apply for disability. Now she is staying at our local rescue mission so she won’t “burden anyone,” but as awful as it sounds, knowing that she is still living is a burden.

We want to start our own family, but the stress is overwhelming. How do we deal with her?

Ready To Throw in the Towel

Dear Ready: We were sympathetic until you said that “knowing she is still living is a burden.” We realize she is difficult, but Mary also sounds mentally ill. Healthy, well-adjusted people do not behave like this. Please contact the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org) at 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264) and ask for help.

Write to anniesmailbox@comcast.net