Helping a friend costs couple

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Updated: March 2, 2012 8:02AM

Dear Annie: My husband and I moved from Alaska to Hawaii a year ago to help a friend who is suffering with ALS (Lou Gehrig’s disease). “John” promised to pay my husband $120 a day if he would leave his job and act as caregiver. My husband agreed, and he not only helps with all his physical therapy, but also takes him to all doctor and other appointments. We have taken care of his vacation rental business, repairs on his house, landscaping and general upkeep. We also have cooked all his meals for the past 10 months.

Six weeks ago, John was in a hospital 50 miles away, and we visited almost daily to help with his physical therapy. While he was in the hospital, John gifted us with $21,000 for a piece of land he sold. We’ve spent $2,000 of it on his bills, brakes for his car, medications, etc.

Now that he is home, he says he was too generous and wants the money back. So far, we’ve returned $12,000. Annie, we have never been paid a dime for our services, including the daily $120 he promised my husband. John doesn’t have much longer to live. We will continue to help, but I believe this latest attempt to take back the money is a form of abuse. He has more than enough financial resources. What shall we do?

Gifted or Not

Dear Gifted: You and your husband have been kind and generous. In the later stages of his disease, John may not only be depressed. He also may not be thinking clearly. Please forgive his rants, but protect yourself in case you are held liable for the remaining disputed money. Keep itemized lists of what you have spent the “gift” on, what you have paid for John’s benefit out of your own pocket, and the amount he promised to pay your husband for his care. And talk to a lawyer as soon as possible.

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