Husband has marriage in limbo

• Reprints

Updated: March 9, 2012 8:02AM

Dear Annie: I have been married to “Clifford” for 36 years. He recently told me he is in love with his secretary and wants to be with her. Did I mention she is 23 and in the process of getting a divorce?

Clifford is the last person I would have expected to do this. I know I can be difficult, but he’s not perfect, either. I love him and thought he felt the same.

He says he doesn’t know whom he wants to be with, but he spends all his time with his girlfriend, so I don’t have much of a chance of getting him back.

We have two grown children who are totally disillusioned and disappointed in their father. Do I wait for him to decide? For how long?

Crushed Heart

Dear Crushed: See a lawyer immediately. Whatever Clifford decides, you must protect yourself financially in the interim. Make the necessary arrangements to manage on your own should that turn out to be the case. We also recommend you get some counseling to help you deal with the uncertainty of your situation and prepare for the possibility that your marriage is over.

How long you are willing to stay in limbo is up to you, but don’t feel pressured to rush into anything. Clifford may ask for a divorce, he might return to you, or you could get tired of waiting and want out.

Write to anniesmailbox@comcast.net