Newly svelte friend isn’t much fun
May 18, 2012 3:40PM
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Updated: June 29, 2012 8:31AM
Dear Harriette: I have a friend who recently completely changed her eating habits and lost a lot of weight. While I think it is great that she wants to be healthy, I sometimes worry that she does not eat enough. Also, diet and exercise seem to consume her life, to the extent that where we eat and what we do has to be planned around what she will or will not eat and when she goes to the gym.
I just want her to relax a little! How do I say this to her without sounding like I am accusing her of having an eating disorder or seeming jealous?
Hungry for My Friend, Chicago
Dear Hungry: I think you should grin and bear it for a bit. Your friend is in the early stages of a major life change. Very often when people lose a dramatic amount of weight, they are so concerned they will gain it back that they design their lives around their eating and exercising schedule. Unfortunately, such behavioral changes can affect their friendships.
The good news is that in most instances, people get into a groove with their new regimen and relax a bit. Then it is much easier for friends to enjoy each other without feeling put upon to live based on the reformed friend’s schedule.
Dear Harriette: I am a high school athlete and am recovering from a torn ACL. I had surgery to repair it a few months ago, and technically I can begin playing sports again soon. My coach is eager to have me back and wants to get me playing again as soon as possible.
I love my sport, but I do not feel comfortable going back on the field yet. I know my coach will be angry about this since I am medically cleared, and might even kick me off the team. Should I just get over it and play, or is there a way to tell my coach and still stay on the team?
Injured and Scared,
Cincinnati
Dear Injured And Scared: Step one is for you to talk to your personal physician (not a team doctor) about your concerns. Do your best to learn what he or she thinks your risks might be in going back on the field.
Next, engage your parents as your advocates. Explain your concerns, and talk to them about what’s going on for you emotionally and physically.
Ask your parents to meet with you and the coach to talk about your options. You may not get thrown off the team if you make it clear that you want to return but are not ready yet, especially if a doctor agrees with you.
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