Reader should offer to host party
August 3, 2012 4:12PM
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Updated: September 6, 2012 6:07AM
Dear Harriette:This is a reply to “Need Some Clarity,” the reader and her sister who were concerned about not being invited to parties since their mother died. They are worried about not being invited to their grandmother’s birthday party. I bet they never host parties, and, therefore, the cousins decided not to include them. I come from a big family, and my sisters and I always hosted the holidays, birthdays, etc. We, too, got fed up with the lazy freeloaders who showed up for everything but never took a turn in having everyone over.
If they are so worried about missing Grandma’s party, they should throw the party and invite everyone. I’m sure the cousins would be delighted to come and not have the work of having the party at their home.
All About Responsibility, Chicago
Dear All About Responsibility: You raise an interesting point, especially from the perspective of a large family of folks who always do the hosting. It is conceivable that the hosts could tire of always being the party-throwers.
I wonder if your description of other family members as “lazy freeloaders” might be a bit harsh. While some people may just show up without bringing anything or helping to clean up, I bet many people who attend parties regularly rather than hosting them may feel ill-equipped to host — maybe they don’t have the big house, they don’t know how to cook, they never learned how to host, they are shy, etc.
That said, I agree that if “Needs Some Clarity” or her sister offers to host something for Grandma, the other family members would, at the very least, wake up to their presence and think about them differently.
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