Reader should offer to host party
August 3, 2012 4:12PM
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Updated: September 6, 2012 6:07AM
Dear Harriette:This is a reply to “Need Some Clarity,” the reader and her sister who were concerned about not being invited to parties since their mother died. They are worried about not being invited to their grandmother’s birthday party. I bet they never host parties, and, therefore, the cousins decided not to include them. I come from a big family, and my sisters and I always hosted the holidays, birthdays, etc. We, too, got fed up with the lazy freeloaders who showed up for everything but never took a turn in having everyone over.
If they are so worried about missing Grandma’s party, they should throw the party and invite everyone. I’m sure the cousins would be delighted to come and not have the work of having the party at their home.
All About Responsibility, Chicago
Dear All About Responsibility: You raise an interesting point, especially from the perspective of a large family of folks who always do the hosting. It is conceivable that the hosts could tire of always being the party-throwers.
I wonder if your description of other family members as “lazy freeloaders” might be a bit harsh. While some people may just show up without bringing anything or helping to clean up, I bet many people who attend parties regularly rather than hosting them may feel ill-equipped to host — maybe they don’t have the big house, they don’t know how to cook, they never learned how to host, they are shy, etc.
That said, I agree that if “Needs Some Clarity” or her sister offers to host something for Grandma, the other family members would, at the very least, wake up to their presence and think about them differently.
Dear Harriette:A book that might help your readers with the one part of writing that always stumps me — grammar — is “Eats, Shoots & Leaves” by Lynne Truss. I am the queen of run-on (and on) sentences, and this book is a great help! Punctuation is a part of grammar many of us are less acquainted with, and reading this book will help you write sentences that are more readable.
Compassionate, Chicago
Dear Compassionate: Thank you for this recommendation. So many people identify with the challenge that some face when it comes to putting pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard).
Not everyone is a naturally gifted writer, but all of us have something to say. The general sentiment from everyone who has written in to support the reader who lacks grammar skills is that he should not give up on his desire to write. Go for it, even if there may be errors. For novice writers, it’s often true that sentences may come out clumsily or flat. It doesn’t matter. Just write. As many Mamas have said, “Practice makes perfect.” And with a bit of help from grammar books, writing workshops and honest support from others, virtually any novice writer can become proficient at expressing him or herself.
You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
