Friends need to have mutual respect
September 13, 2012 2:34PM
Updated: October 15, 2012 9:13AM
Dr. Wallace: I have a “friend” who is always hurting me physically and verbally. I’m getting tired of it. She says that I’m ugly, have a big nose and my hair looks terrible. But others say that I’m sweet and pretty, even though my nose is a bit long. Why does my “friend” say such nasty things about me? She is also in the habit of punching me in the arm to get my attention.
I am already planning to have plastic surgery on my nose when I turn 18 and my grandparents will pay for it. But what do you think I should do about this “friend”?
Nameless, Reno, Nev.
Nameless: Many times human beings like to put others down because they themselves are down and “misery loves company.” If your friend can convince herself that you have a lot of problems, then her personal problems don’t seem too bad compared to what she believes yours are.
Your so-called friendship with this girl cannot continue in this manner. Have a talk with her and tell her how you feel.
Stress that you both must share mutual respect for each other or the relationship must end. Ask her questions such as: Do you enjoy my company? Do you want to remain friends? Do you have fun when you are with me, or would you rather spend less time with me? Then ask her if she has any questions for you. At the end of the conversation you should both hug and agree to be good friends or shake hands and say, “Goodbye and good luck!”
Write to Dr. Wallace