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Sex was the only reason he dated reader

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Updated: January 10, 2013 6:13AM



Dr. Wallace: I’m 16 and dating a guy I like a lot, and he says that he likes me, too. After a lot of persuasion, he has talked me into being sexually active, but I get the feeling that he is just using me. I think this because he is still very chummy with his “ex,” and I even saw him kissing her when he didn’t know I was there.

What should I do? Do you think that he likes me and is only trying to make me jealous or do you think that he is using me sexually?

Nameless, Orlando, Fla.

Nameless: One of the fastest ways to end a wonderful relationship is to have “sexual experiences” with him. I believe this guy is using you for one thing — sex, and it’s time to send him packing.

When your next relationship comes your way, enjoy doing things together that do not include sex. That way, the relationship will have a chance to flourish. Please read the following letter from Jackie who has “been there and done that.”

Dr. Wallace: I’d like to address my message to all the girls out there who are having sex with their boyfriends, but have the sinking feeling they are being used by their boyfriends to satisfy their sexual drive.

I met Todd at a birthday party for a mutual friend about a year ago. We hit it off and started seeing each other. Our first month was wonderful, but after we got to know one another much better, he started getting sexually aggressive. At the time I was a virgin, but that didn’t last long. By our second month anniversary, we were having sex on every date.

One night while out with him, I asked what he would do if I refused his sexual advances. His reply was, “I’ll find a new girlfriend.” At that moment I knew that he was going out with me for only one reason — sex. I told him to take me home, and he did. I told him I never wanted to see him again, and I haven’t. I wasted six months of my life being used.

I’m now dating a guy I truly adore. We have been together for five months, and he treats me like a lady and that’s a great feeling. No, we are not sexually involved, and I like it that way.

Jackie, Santa Fe, N.M.

Jackie: Thanks for your message to girls who are involved in sexual relationships. It will give them cause to wonder if, indeed, they are being used.

Write to Dr. Wallace
at rwallace@galesburg.net



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