Girls should talk to moms first about sex
By Dr. Robert Wallace ’Tween 12 and 20 March 1, 2013 5:18PM
Updated: April 4, 2013 6:19AM
Dr. Wallace: What do you have against fathers being involved in discussing sexual matters with daughters? You always encourage girls to discuss things sexual with their mothers. Are you not aware that in families, the mother and the father are equals? What would you tell a young lady who wanted sex information who is living with a single-parent father?
My wife and I have two sons and when it came time for them to learn about human reproduction, my wife was just as active in the discussion as I was.
Please don’t try to drive a wedge between parents when it comes to discussing sex with their children. When it comes to sex, it “takes two to tango,” and it takes “two to tango” to teach their children the facts.
Moncton, New Brunswick
Father: I never mean to prohibit fathers from discussing sexual matters with their daughters. Fathers should always be included in the discussion because they can contribute significantly in helping clarify sexuality. Conversely, mothers should be included when sons are inquisitive about sexual matters.
But I still feel that girls should talk with their mothers first, before their fathers enter the conversation. There are times when a young girl will shy away from certain personal questions if her father is present. Besides, a mother fully understands the workings of the female body and mind much better than a father does.
It’s true that it takes “two to tango,” but when one of the partners in this provocative dance is klutzy it’s usually the male, and it makes dancing a chore. If a single parent father needs to discuss sexual matters with a daughter, a female relative, trusted female friend or female doctor or nurse should have the first discussion regarding sex before the father gets involved.
Dr. Wallace: I plan to join the military after I graduate from high school this spring. My grades are very good, but I might have a problem and need your advice.
I know that I must pass a rigid physical examination before being accepted into the military, and I’m concerned that something might show up relating to the spray sniffing.
Is it possible that I could have caused lung damage that I’m not aware of? I realize that “sniffing” was a stupid misadventure, but what has been done has been done, and there is nothing I can do about it now.
Nameless, Porterville, Calif.
Nameless: Short-term use of most inhalants is unlikely to cause irreversible damage. However, long-term use (two years of steady sniffing) can, and often does, cause severe, irreparable damage to the body.
To be on the safe side, explain your past “sniffing” experience with your family doctor and undergo a thorough physical examination.
Write to Dr. Wallace