Hubby is happy traveling in the USA
By HARRIETTE COLE Sense & Sensitivity April 5, 2013 11:30AM
Updated: June 6, 2013 2:24AM
Dear Harriette: I need some help with my husband, who refuses to travel outside of the United States. We have been married for six years, and every year I tell my husband that I want to travel to Paris and Italy for vacation. And every year he politely tells me no.
When I asked why he is not interested in traveling outside of the U.S., he responded, “We can see everything we want right here in the happy United States.” To prove his point, this is what my husband decided to do: Instead of going to Europe, we went to Las Vegas and stayed at the Paris hotel, and we visited the Venetian hotel to ride the gondolas.
I have to admit that we had a great time in Vegas, but I really wanted to go to Europe instead. How can I change my husband’s mind about traveling outside the United States?
Dear Would-be Globetrotter: I hope you thanked your husband for his creative attempt to satisfy you and himself. You have to admit that his compromise was clever.
I suggest that you dig a little deeper to try to find the source of your husband’s apprehension regarding international travel. Is there something in his past that might preclude him from securing a passport? Did he have a bad experience before meeting you that had to do with international travel?
If he sticks to his guns, begin to talk to him about other options. It could be that his lack of interest in going does not preclude you from going. Perhaps you can go to Europe with some of your girlfriends or with an organized tour group. Indeed, if you go and come back with a wealth of stories, he may change his mind and choose to join you the next time.
Dear Harriette: One of my friends overshares on Facebook. He recently posted his GPA, which wasn’t great, along with a message about how it has inspired him to do better. He has also said on Facebook that he has never been kissed. I think things like that are too personal to post on the Internet for everyone to see. Should I talk to him, or is it his prerogative to post whatever he wants?
Privacy Please, Chicago
Dear Privacy Please: Wouldn’t it be wonderful if you could get your friends to heed your advice? Unfortunately, it doesn’t often happen. Don’t give up yet, though.
Ask your friend to have a chat with you. Mention your concern over the amount of personal information he shares via social media and how it could backfire on him as it relates to continuing his education, getting a job or being taken seriously. Point out also that posting about his love life, or lack thereof, can easily attract stalkers or other undesirables. Suggest that he have these conversations with his friends rather than his cyberfriends. A cyberconversation about personal intimacies can backfire too quickly.
After you share your thoughts, back off. He is an individual with the right to post what he chooses. He may be comfortable with his personal postings and choose to continue. If he does, your next step can be to stop engaging him via social media so that you avoid being a participant in his drama.
You can send questions to askharriette harriettecole.com or c/o Universal Uclick, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.