Daughter put in a tough situation

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Updated: January 28, 2012 8:04AM

Dr. Wallace: I’m 16 and have a huge problem. Please help me. My mother was married to her third husband, Phil, for over a year. They were divorced two years ago because of his excessive drinking and because he was sexually aggressive with me.

About a month ago, he called my mom and said he had stopped drinking and found peace in religion and was a new man. Mom has been seeing him regularly now. In fact, they are planning to get married again.

I not only despise Phil, but I hate him for the things he said and did to me. I do not want that man living in the same house with me. My father is living in California, has remarried and has two young children, so I can’t move in with him and his new wife.

My mother said I could move in with a friend or relative. That means she cares more for Phil than she does for me. The only place I would feel comfortable would be living with my grandparents (Mom’s mom). They would be willing to take me, but said I would have to obey their rules, and they are quite strict. I don’t know what I should do.

Nameless, Phoenix

Nameless: I’m sorry you’ve been put in such a tough situation. Your grandparents are your lifeline right now, and I suggest
you take it. Move in with them when your mom remarries Phil. There are far worse things than living in a strict household, as I’m sure you know. I don’t think it will take you too long to adjust. Soon you’ll be feeling at home.

Write to Dr. Wallace
at rwallace@galesburg.net