Newlywed getting mixed signals

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Updated: February 21, 2012 8:11AM

Dear Annie: My husband and I are in our early 50s. We have been married for one year and have not been intimate for six months. Until he transferred to a second-shift job, our bedroom was exciting. Now I’m not allowed to touch him. Anything more than a hug and he pushes me away. I miss how we once were. He says he hasn’t been feeling well but refuses to see a doctor or a counselor.

If he’s not willing to discuss this further, it’s hard to know what to do or think. I love him dearly, and he tells me he loves me, too, but with all these mixed signals, I’m not so sure. Any ideas?

Boston Beauty

Dear Boston: It’s possible the job switch is exhausting him, or there could be something at work that is making him unwell. Or he could have met someone else on his new shift. There are other possibilities, but if he refuses to see a doctor or a counselor, it means he prefers to leave things as they are, and this is unacceptable. Please see a counselor on your own and figure out your next step.

Dear Annie: Like “Road Worrier,” I was unable to get my mother, who was legally blind with macular degeneration, to give up driving. She always said a prayer before getting behind the wheel.

Living in different states made it difficult, so I spoke with an attorney, who told Mom that either she gets rid of the car or I would ask for legal guardianship and make ALL her future choices. She was furious but knew I meant business. The car was gone within a week. Her anger didn’t last long, but I was willing to risk a permanent estrangement. It would have been worth saving the life of someone’s child whom she eventually would have killed.

Did What Needed
to be Done

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