Best seat at Thanksgiving is under the table
Ask Ollie email@example.com November 16, 2012 4:32PM
Updated: December 19, 2012 1:00PM
D ear Ollie: Is it OK if I brag just a little? I’ve been doing quite a lot of wishing this past week. And, like a canine miracle, my wish was granted.
Little “Sticky Fingers” is coming to my home for Thanksgiving dinner. “Sticky Fingers” is a tiny girl child human, 3-year-old granddaughter.
When she was 2 she dropped all her food on the floor. Oh boy, I hope she still does so that I know just where to sit on Thanksgiving Day — that would be directly under her seat.
This year she will be sitting with the adults and eating some very serious Thanksgiving dinner including turkey, turkey and much more turkey. I don’t care if it’s roasted, basted, fried or barbecued as long as it’s turkey. I look for a boneless and well-cooked nibble.
Welcome to Thanksgiving dinner, little “Sticky Fingers.” I have staked out my spot and it’s not under my pet parents’ seats.
Why not, you ask? Because they read all the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals stuff that comes in the mail with small and useless address labels.
My man human never drops food and never, never feeds us dogs under the table. The ASPCA says that’s a “no, no.” My woman human always reads everything they send but makes many exceptions and will slip me something because it is, after all, Thanksgiving.
I expect that since she carefully read the ASPCA “Thanksgiving Safety Tips,” the turkey won’t be undercooked due to the risk for salmonella bacteria.
She won’t give us stuffing because it may contain sage or other herbs that contain essential oils and resins, which can cause gastrointestinal upset and central nervous system depression to pets if eaten in large quantities
Cats are especially sensitive, but I don’t like cats so none are here.
In the kitchen when there’s baking and cooking activities, she won’t give me raw dough because if ingested, an animal’s body heat causes the dough to rise in his stomach. As it expands, the pet may experience vomiting and certainly bloating, which may become life-threatening. I have never risen, so to speak.
Holiday cakes are off the menu too because if the cake includes raw eggs, they could contain salmonella bacteria that may lead to food poisoning.
With all that bad stuff behind us I’m still taking a chance on “Sticky Fingers.” Under her seat will be the best seat in the house Thanksgiving Day and it is mine.
Laddie, the Labrador and something else mix
Laddie: So was there a question in your letter? I didn’t think so. Therefore, without a question, there’s no answer.
Instead, I send to you and all my readers’ fond remembrances, heartfelt appreciation and warm thoughts for a fabulous holiday. May every dog that reads this column have their very own “Sticky Fingers” eating dinner at their home on Thanksgiving Day.