Updated: October 31, 2011 2:22PM
Dr. Wallace: I’m a 16-year-old boy who has never been on a date. My problem is that I’m shy. I’m afraid if I ask a girl out, I’d be crushed for life if she told me to get lost. I’m a pretty good athlete and an above-average student, and my female cousins say I’m not bad-looking. When they ask me why I’m not dating, I just tell them that I’m too busy with athletics and schoolwork. I’m scared to tell them that I’m afraid of being told no.
What can you do to help me overcome this hang-up? I’m deathly afraid of striking out with the girls.
Shy, Cumberland, Md.
Shy: Fear is part of life and it rarely goes away, and fear of rejection is one of the most powerful fears of all. A funny thing about fear — it goes away when you face it squarely. When you let it rule your life, you wind up bringing about the result that paralyzed you in the first place.
Everyone has been turned down for a date at one time or another. For instance, actor Tom Hanks said that he was rejected four times before he finally got a girl to go with him to his senior prom.
Girls are sensitive people. If her answer is no, she won’t say, “Get lost!” Instead, she’ll thank you for the offer and let you down easily. It really won’t hurt all that much. And when you hear the word “yes,” you’ll immediately forget about the girls who said no!
If you’re not convinced yet, think about baseball player Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa. Most fans will remember what they accomplished in the 1998 baseball season. Mark hit 70 homers and Sammy hit 66, both of them shattering Roger Maris’ 37-year-old record of 61. What no fan will remember, or care about, is that together they struck out almost 300 times! You will never hit a home run if you don’t swing the bat.
You’ll never date if you don’t start asking.
Dr. Wallace: I’m a 17-year-old guy who has a big problem — dandruff! I’ve got it bad and that “ain’t” good. I’ve tried all kinds of different shampoos, but nothing seems to work.
I wore a dark blue suit to the prom. And after a few hours, the shoulders of the suit were loaded with white stuff. It looked like I got caught in a snowstorm. What causes dandruff? And how can I get rid of this disease?
Rick, Peoria, Ill.
Rick: Dandruff is not a disease. Every day people shed particles of skin, and it’s a normal process. Dandruff is the excess particles of skin from the scalp. There is no permanent cure for dandruff, but a doctor can prescribe medication that can slow down the shedding on the scalp.
Unfortunately for teens, dandruff tends to peak in the late teens and early adulthood. And it’s worse in the winter months because of the dry air in heated houses. Everybody suffers from dandruff. It’s just that some have worse cases than others.