Dear Annie: My wife and I are having marital problems. Our issues started when I caught her lying to me and talking privately on the phone to my best friend of 12 years — the same guy who was the best man at my wedding. After arguing for a few days, I asked her to make a sincere effort to go for counseling, and she agreed. I also asked her to stop speaking to my friend during the time we are trying to repair our marriage. She agreed to that, too.

However, this guy messages her on Facebook, and she still reads his comments. We went to our first counseling session, and I felt it went well. But when we got home, I realized that she was having doubts. She finally said she had not been in love with me for five years.

Annie, we have a beautiful 16-month-old baby girl. I want to repair our marriage for our child’s sake, as well as for us. What should I do? Can marriage counseling help if there’s no love?

Dying in New York

Dear New York: Marriage counseling can help if there once was love that can be recaptured, or if both parties are dedicated to making the marriage work.

A compatible marriage doesn’t necessarily require passion for each other, only a commitment to the stability of the relationship.

You cannot do it alone. Please continue with counseling.

If your wife wants to work on the marriage, she will come along and make the necessary effort. But if she is unwilling, the counselor will help you forge your own path.

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