Jerry Davich: Bullied teen with disability: ‘I wanted to end my life’

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Fourteen year-old Matthew Boswell cuddles with a cat while volunteering at the Humane Society of Northwest Indiana in Gary Wednesday Jan. 4, 2012. Boswell, a Hobart High School freshman diagnosed with Tourette's Syndrome and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, has been volunteering at the shelter with his mother for nearly half his life. "I really love coming here. Being around these animals keeps me calm." | Andy Lavalley~Sun-Times Media | Andy Lavalley~Sun-Times Media

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Updated: February 7, 2012 8:16AM

Matthew Boswell has been teased, bullied and tormented by fellow school students since at least third grade.

That’s when he was diagnosed with Tourette syndrome, characterized by uncontrollable facial, verbal and physical tics. These involuntary tics can be rapid, repetitive and overly conspicuous, the last thing any child wants in the pressure-cooker fishbowl we call school.

“Most adults love Matthew, but kids can be cruel for no reason at all except that he is different,” said Matthew’s mother, Cory Dulcis.

Matthew’s father, Greg Boswell, added, “They circle around kids like Matthew who are vulnerable and they’re like sharks who won’t let go of their prey.”

“They’re like vultures,” piped in Matthew, a Hobart High School freshman who turns 15 this month.

Through the years, the “vultures” have punched Matthew, knocked off and stolen his glasses, body-checked him in hallways, and once even tried drowning him in a swimming pool. At least, to Matthew, it felt like being drowned. Along with countless verbal taunts using a variety of names, labels and lies.

“It’s not just a few bad kids,” his mother explained to me earlier this week in their Hobart home. “It’s dozens of kids, seemingly normal kids who think nothing of doing it.”

Through the years, Matthew has been told by teachers, principals and counselors to ignore the taunting.

“I try to ignore it, but it’s hard to keep doing that,” explained Matthew, who also deals with obsessive-compulsive disorder, or OCD.

“We’ve been told that Matt just needs to toughen up, but this advice really gets on our nerves,” Boswell said. “You can’t simply tell a child with Tourette’s, or someone with Matt’s emotional issues, to just toughen up. It isn’t that easy.”

Matthew is under a psychiatrist’s care, and he also is on medication for his condition. But neither remedy can shield him from other kids’ teasing, taunting and bullying.

On Dec. 22, while Matthew ate his lunch alone in the school cafeteria, another student walked past with a friend and called Matthew a stupid idiot, or something similar.

Matthew couldn’t ignore this one, and he began to self-destruct from the inside.

“It just set me off,” he told me.

“When his anxiety level increases, things just start to go haywire in his head,” his father explained.

Matthew walked to a nearby hallway, grabbed a T-shirt, and wrapped it tightly around his neck. He strangled himself in a choke-hold.

“I wanted to end my life,” he said flatly.

I asked, why?

“At least the teasing would stop if I wasn’t around to take it anymore,” he reasoned with matter-of-fact seriousness.

‘Shook me to the core’

Matthew’s mother received a phone call from the school, informing her about the incident.

“Our lives came to a crashing halt,” Dulcis said.

“It shook me to the core,” Boswell said. “We saw no warning signs this was coming.”

This is a familiar refrain I often hear from survivors of teenage suicide victims. And this is why Matthew’s parents want to get out the word about what happened to their son.

“We don’t want Matthew do be the next victim in the newspaper,” his father said. “He already tried to do something once to end his pain.”

“And he did it at school,” his mother added.

Matthew was admitted into a local psych ward for teenagers, and it helped, in theory.

“They gave me techniques to help, but I don’t know if it will work at school,” said Matthew, who returns to school on Monday.

Both parents offered high praise for at least two Hobart High School officials, including Brent Martinson, an assistant principal.

“He’s like the light at the end of the tunnel for us,” Boswell said.

Martinson could only provide me with a prepared statement regarding this issue, citing student privacy and an ongoing investigation.

“We have a policy against bullying, we take it seriously and enforce it. We have a protocol to assess any potential suicide threat,” he said. “We are unable to further comment.”

But, according to Matthew’s parents, he has been kicked out of school seven times so far this school year for retaliating against the bullying. He could be expelled if that figure reaches 10, they say.

Parents to blame?

“Don’t get us wrong, Matthew is not a perfect kid,” said his father, noting that Matthew will fight back if he’s picked on. “But he’s not a bad kid either.”

He plays tuba in the school band. He’s in the school’s ROTC program. And he’s conditioning for possible football tryouts later this year.

He also loves to volunteer at the Humane Society of Northwest Indiana, in Miller, where he feels safe from any teasing or bullying.

“He feels unconditional love there with the animals,” his mother said.

On the flip side, he has missed field trips, school parties and other student gatherings because of potential taunts. His parents also don’t allow him to go online for, say, Facebook.

“We’re afraid of the cyber-bullying that could take place,” Boswell said. “Our son is not the star football player or popular by any means. We can’t risk it.”

If Matthew’s anxiety level stays down, he’s OK, generally speaking. But it’s tough to keep his anxiety in check when students begin pecking away at him. This is when he breaks downs, clenches his fists and melts into tears. Or he retaliates.

Matthew’s mother blames parents more than educators.

“Parents aren’t being parents,” she said firmly. “They need to stop being best friends with their kid and be more like a parent. This is the problem.”

“Start asking questions about your child’s behavior at school,” Boswell added. “Get more involved. Too many parents don’t know what’s going on with their kids.”

I think this timeless problem — bullying — has a timely news peg with so many similar cases (and lawsuits) in the news these days, from Lake Central High School to Morgan Township High School.

On a wider spectrum, maybe this age-old issue illustrates a broader indictment against too many parents these days who have forgotten what it means to “parent.”

Instead of preparing their children for life, they’re pampering their children for life.

Agree? Disagree? Today between noon and 1 p.m., I will talk with Matthew’s mother, Cory Dulcis, on my “Casual Fridays” radio show on Lakeshore Public Radio, 89.1-FM, www.thelakeshorefm.com. Feel free to call in at 769-9577 (WLPR).