Davich: Who is really ‘worthy’ of help?

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Updated: February 14, 2012 10:12AM

“Dear Jerry, why would you help a single mother of four who’s pregnant with her fifth child? She’s just a breeder who’s milking the system, I’ll bet. Why don’t you help someone who could really use the money?”

This email reflected the response of a handful of readers regarding my Christmas time column on several recipients I chose to receive monetary gifts from anonymous donors. The readers disagreed with my choice of who deserves such a generous gift during the holidays.

“She should stop having kids and getting help from strangers,” another reader told me regarding the Porter County woman whose home was recently burglarized.

“Maybe next year your single friend will have five kids and be pregnant, and then get $600,” the reader added, referring to the $500 the woman received from me on Christmas Eve morning.

In my column, I didn’t elaborate on each recipient’s specific situation, but I have a feeling some readers would bash all of them if they knew more information about each one.

For example, the elderly couple from Wheatfield with multiple health problems. (Are they so unhealthy because they didn’t take care of themselves in their younger days?)

Or the middle-aged Lake Station woman who has cancer. (A lot of people have cancer. Why should SHE receive the dough?)

Or the Hammond man who does many things for many others, but not for himself. (Why HIM? It’s better to give than to receive anyway, right?)

Or the Gary family whose father lost his job last month and whose mother lost her life last year? (Don’t they have unemployment benefits and life insurance?)

So, I ask you, are these candidates deserving of an unconditional Christmas gift from strangers? Or do they, too, fail to make the cut in your eyes? It was a tough call for me, but apparently not so for some people with more clear-cut criteria.

Then again, I did not conduct thorough background checks on each recipient to determine how they wound up in their particular situation. Nor did I want to.

My mission was to find worthy people in real need, and I think I accomplished it. But it’s the word “worthy” that caused disagreement. One man’s worthy is another woman’s welfare, I have learned.

‘Why no Snooki?’

Several readers contacted me about the short blurb in the print version of Wednesday’s paper regarding my recent phone chat with Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi of TV show “Jersey Shore” fame. Many echoed this caller.

“Jerry, I don’t read my paper online. I read it after it hits my porch, NOT my computer,” said Frances L. of Gary. “How can I read that column? Why no Snooki? Was it too dirty for us print subscribers?”

Sorry, Frances, but that column ran online only. Not sure why. And no, it wasn’t too dirty for any readers. But you can listen to my chat with the 24-year-old sweet, but self-absorbed Polizzi on my “Casual Fridays” radio show today at noon on WLPR, 89.1-FM.

The ghost of New Year’s Eve

On the morning of Dec. 31, I vowed to finally pay an overdue visit to a former coworker of mine who was in the hospital. I even wrote it in my daily planner and highlighted it in green — CALL AND VISIT LARRY.

Even though I worked that Saturday, covering a wedding and then writing about it for the next day’s paper, I figured I had plenty of time to visit Larry Bretts on New Year’s Eve. He’s not going anywhere anytime soon, I figured.

I figured wrong.

Larry worked for the Post-Tribune on the night-time copy desk, designing newspaper pages after the sun went down. But his true talent and passion was photography after shooting thousands of photos for the P-T over the course of many years.

When I first hired in at the P-T in 2006, Larry made a point to introduce himself and offer me a dessert treat. He was known in the newsroom for bringing in sweet treats or tasty snacks on a regular, if not daily basis, laying them on a counter near his desk.

In short, he was a swell guy with always a warm smile and an old joke (in that order).

In 2010, Larry suffered a serious stroke, leaving the then 66-year-old Valparaiso man paralyzed on his right side.

“Larry, what can I do to help you?” I asked him inside his hospital room.

“You can shoot me, put me out of this misery,” he told me in slurred speech.

His quick reply came without a hint a humor, shocking for a man who always had a joke to share, no matter how old, bad or dirty it is. But Larry eventually recovered, returned to work, and moved on with his life in progress.

Then, last year, cancer struck, spreading rapidly through his body. In mid-December, he was diagnosed with pneumonia, never a good thing for anyone so frail.

Larry’s longtime life partner, Doris LaFauci, kept me updated on his condition and his whereabouts, from a hospital to a rehab center and back again to a hospital.

“He’s the kindest, most giving, and most helpful person I have ever known,” Doris told me.

I also can attest to this, but it’s not why I’m writing about Larry today.

I had several opportunities to visit him these past few weeks, and I always assumed he would be there when I arrived. Sadly, and stupidly, I was wrong. Larry died on New Year’s Eve morning. I found out on the way to work that day.

I stared at his green-highlighted name in my planner all day. Heck, I still do.

If my wordy wreckage of regrets means anything to you, let it remind you about the Larry Bretts in your life. And let it prompt you, even compel you, to pay that person a visit.

Today. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Pick up that phone. Make that call. I wish I did.