Are these April Fool’s Day jokes on you or your small business?
By Leanne Hoagland-Smith March 31, 2013 9:00AM
Leanne Hoagland-Smith. | Provided photo~Sun-Times Media
Today is April 1, the day noted for practical jokes. For small business owners and professionals this is not a one-time event. It happens numerous times month after month.
Here are some April Fool’s jokes that I have discovered during my tenure not only as an executive coach and enterprise consultant, but as an employee.
1. “I don’t need a plan because I am ‘Captain Wing-It.’ I spray my actions all over the place and then pray that something will stick.”
And how does that ensure consistent results?
2. We have a sales problem.
No, what you really have is an executive leadership or a process problem.
3. “I can find good help so let them quit.”
Given the cost to keep a new employee is two to three times his or her salary, does this really make sense as a sustainable business practice?
4. “Sales are down so we must cut back on marketing.”
If sales are down, then how are your potential customers going to find you?
5. “We promote our super-workers into supervisors.”
Unfortunately, the technical skills demonstrated by super-workers are less needed in management positions and the real skills needed are the soft or people skills.
6. “Written policies are not needed because every employee knows his or her job.”
Really, then why are only 25 percent of your employees giving you 8 hours of work for 8 hours of pay while 75 percent are giving you far less?
7. “Social media does not work.”
With 97.7 percent of all small businesses having less than 10 employees, this marketing channel is one of the best ways to attract attention and begin to build relationships.
8. “LinkedIn is not for me.”
If you are selling business to business or even looking for a professional position, not being on this No. 1 site for business leads and recruitment is quite foolish.
9. “We all know what success means for this organization.”
Really, then why do the majority of employees do not know the top 3 goals critical for your business success?
10. “As a business professional, I do not need to invest in my own development. Let the company pay for it.”
If you do not take personal responsibility for your own development, why should any business make an investment in you?
These jokes are not in any priority, but just as they came to me. So print out this list and start determining if you have suffered from any of these jokes in the past or better yet make sure you do not become an April fool any time in the future. Please feel free to add your own in the comment section below.
P.S. Shout Out – Giovanni’s in Munster and Pesto’s in Valparaiso both dish up great Italian entrees and excellent customer service.