Holiday chaos turns laughable
January 2, 2013 2:46PM
We all have them — those moments in life that, at the time, seem horrible, disastrous, total chaos.
But then, with some hindsight, become times that can be classified as “one day we’ll laugh about this” occasions. I recalled one over Christmas as I celebrated with my family.
It was six or seven years ago. Zoey, the Big Black Dog, was still alive.
Expecting company, I set out a fairly good-sized bowl filled with Hershey Kisses, wrapped in red, green and gold foil. Without much further thought, I went back into the kitchen to put the finishing touches on our meal.
Almost immediately, it occurred to me that leaving the candy on a low table wasn’t a good idea. I went back just in time to watch Zoey swallow the last Kiss in the bowl.
Frantic, I looked around for the foil wrappings. Duh! Like the beast would take off the foil first?
I worried the chocolate would make her sick. (Never give chocolate to a dog.)
I waited for the foil to bind her up.
Nope. She pooped red and green for a week.
The dog had the constitution of a goat.
The thought of a dog retching in front of company did not put Zoey and me on good speaking terms that night. But, years later, it’s become a moment that still evokes laughter in the telling.
Here are a few more tales that have become laughable over time.
Frank Guzman, Hammond: “I was still in grade school that Christmas. We had Christmas Eve dinner, then it was our tradition to walk to Midnight Mass.
“In those days, our tree was lit by those big, colored bulbs, and my mom meticulously put the tinsel on, one strand at a time. The tree filled one whole corner of our living room.
“That year, we came home after Mass to disaster: The tree had crashed to the floor, and it became apparent who was at fault. The cat sat calmly on top of the branches, licking her paws. The dog had hidden under the dining table.
“My mom went berserk, swatting at both the cat and dog with her broom. We all ran for cover until she finally broke down and cried.
“We couldn’t speak about it for a long time, but she brought it up several years ago, and we all had a good laugh.”
Mitzy Rosinske, Schererville: “Shortly after I married, I invited the in-laws over for dinner. I put out my new china and crystal, pulled out a new linen tablecloth and planned the menu carefully — prime rib and baked potatoes. I wanted to show my mother-in-law that I could cook.
“A couple of hours later, they arrived. My father-in-law walked in, sniffed and said he didn’t smell anything cooking. I knew immediately; I forgot to turn on the oven.
“We ate much later than expected that night, and Mom still teases by asking me if I remember to turn on the heat.”
Tyler Mercer, Crown Point: “I ran out of gas going to rescue my wife, who had run out of gas — right after I yelled at her for not watching the gas gauge more carefully.”