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Quickly, Jan. 3, 2013

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Updated: February 4, 2013 2:46PM



The “fiscal cliff” reminds me of a 1951 Buick with a bad engine, transmission and rear end. Our wonderful leaders in D.C. just took it through the car wash. Job well done, jerks.

Poor, weary Congress. We were all weary waiting for them to finally make a decision.

What gives with people leaving those ugly trash cans in front of their homes all week? Seems to me it would be neater to move them up by their homes and easier in the long run. Besides, it would improve the looks of their homes 100 percent.

Quickly: If you need a gun to feel like a man, you’re pathetic. I’ve known some like you.

The comment that wimpy men knit while “real” men enjoy hobbies with guns rubbed me the wrong way. I am a woman who can’t knit a stitch, but I’m a great shot, especially with my 9 mm. So what does that make me?

Hey, manly man, I knitted you a sweater that reads “Without my guns, I’m a cowering wuss.” I made it extra thick to keep your tiny arms warm.

I think killers are born the way they are. We can spend all day blaming it on all kinds of things. How about box cutters and airplanes — or is that old news?

I am so sorry I offended you by saying, “Oh, my God.” Maybe I should have said, “Oh, my goodness,” but also maybe you could should not be offended by something so trivial. If you drank as much milk as I do, you’d be worried, too.

My New Year’s resolution is not to make any New Year’s resolutions. That way, I don’t get stressed out or depressed when I break one of them.



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