Carrol Vertrees: End of the world could ruin your day
Carrol Vertrees May 19, 2012 3:04PM
Updated: June 29, 2012 8:59AM
I am about to be righteously indignant, even a bit peeved at this fellow Ronald Weinland, who says he is God’s prophet. He may be, but I hope that he is wrong about May 27 — the end day, or the beginning of the end.
You know — the world will blow up, or something. He makes me even more nervous than I was when I waited about two seconds for the future Mrs. V to say “I do.”
May 27 is a bad choice for the finale. Our choir potluck is scheduled for May 30, and I jokingly promised to bring a broccoli dish, having just read the prophet’s prophecy. If it all ends on May 27, I can get out of the broccoli promise because it won’t matter. I am dead sure I won’t take it with me.
I respect this fellow’s scholarship and opinion, but I wonder why he was knighted by God to be an end-time prophet. People who claim to understand the book of Revelation bother me — here I am still wrestling with Alpha and here he is explaining Omega!
John and whoever helped write Revelation did not understand the art of plain talk. It’s a shame. They don’t impress me.
Another fellow a few years back predicted the end and he was wrong. Then he changed the date and was still wrong. This prophesying stuff has been going on for years. When I was 4, I sat out on our chiggery lawn waiting for the end that a guy had predicted. I finally got the itch to give it up when my mom called me in to sample the strawberry shortcake. It was heavenly.
Weinland says his message is primarily aimed at three major religions: Islam, Judaism and Christianity, not necessarily in that order, probably.
I don’t know what happens to the other humans out there, like people who worship money, power and Facebook. Christians who don’t tithe. People who text while driving.
And if the May 27 date stands, what will happen to our credit card bills and the stuff in our refrigerators? And what about the Indy 500 — will it even get started? I ponder these things, and the questions remain.
I have to be frivolous about this end thing because I cannot imagine how it will go. Will this prophet go first to glory land? He talks about a great war, and scary stuff like that — our never-ending wars do portend an ominous future, but humans have been fighting since the beginning, and maybe even before.
To be honest, a trait I learned from Abe Lincoln, I know that the end of whatever our world is could come at any time, but I won’t give away my new flat-screen television until the very last minute. By then nobody will care — it will be nice, though, not to see even a snippet of the Maury Povich show.
Surely I am theologically deprived. That much I know. There is an old hymn that ends: “ … But some day I shall understand.” I have this simple view that when I go, to wherever, my world has ended. It is more personal that way than the cataclysmic ending this fellow prophecies.
Somewhere buried in the grandiose prose in Revelation some truths are hiding. It was not written for ordinary humans like me. Maybe we should be glad for people like Weinland — maybe he is a prophet, I am more a poor nonprophet guy.
But this fellow, bless him, talks about the trumpets, seals and other parts of Revelation and asks, “Is that so hard to understand?”
And I say, in my profound manner: “Let’s talk about my devotion to choir potlucks. Is that so hard to understand?”